Guest post from my mom: Me, Meds, and ADHD

I was so excited with my response to Focaline (ritalin). I was thrilled to be freed from impulsive eating and food cravings.  Also, my body felt noticably peaceful & my husband noticed I was calmer.  This began last Thursday. The following Tuesday I noticed some unusual breathlessness as I was climbing a tiny incline to an evening meeting.  Later that night my heart seemed to be pounding.  The next morning I knew my heart was both racing and beating irregularly.  A cardiologist confirmed I could no longer take this or any related medication.

So, bummer.  I'll be meeting with the ADHD doc within a few weeks to see if there are any alternative ADHD meds I might try.  It's not the end of the world if I can't. I've made it 67 years without.  It was just a nice experience to know what it's like to eat like a "normal" person.  I'll simply continue working through the Weight Watchers Program.

Binder Round-Up

Part of my monumental family organization binder project is finding something inspiring to put all my hard work into. Here are a few options.

1. Aurora GB Kraft Essentials 1" Binder $9.99 on Amazon.com
2. Naked Binder Pouch $1.50 each at Naked Binder
3. Greenroom Recycled 1.5" Binder $7.69 at Target
4. Round 1" Project Binder $7.50 from Naked Binder
5. Guided Products ReTab 8-Tab Divider $5.35 on Amazon.com
6. Martha Stewart Home Office 1" Binder $5.99 at Staples 

I especially am in love with the Naked Binder products. Do you have a favorite binder?

Rewards and chore charts

I am loving our new chore reward chart! It's only been three days that we've been using this new system, so talk to me in a month about longer-term effectiveness. I have to say, though, that last night's "Mommy, can I help with dinner?!" and "I have to find some clean socks so I can lay out tomorrow's clothes" were music to my ears. Did I say music? I meant the complete works of Mozart, Beethoven, and Bach. This bodes very, very well.

Chore Chart.

The chore chart (even in my head when I say that, it's a tongue twister) has eight categories:

1. Using the bathroom alone (Bubs is capable of this, but loves mommy or daddy to help out. Mommy and daddy don't love this, however. We do still check him, but he takes care of the business.) 
2. Bubs gets a ten-minute warning when it's time to put toys away. 
3. Each day has a different cleaning chore assigned. (Sunday is a free day, what with being the Sabbath and all. I'm a big believer in a Sabbath day, no matter what your religious beliefs. A day that forces you to slow down and be mindful? We all need that.) The chores in this section are watering plants, helping with laundry, scrub cleaning, washing dishes, tidying up the bedroom, and vacuuming.
4. Feeding the dog
5. Having a helpful attitude. This especially applies to self-initiated helpful tasks, like unloading the milk delivery unprompted, or being particularly cheerful, polite, appreciative, charming, etc.
6. Helping with dinner
7. Doing the morning routine (see note)
8. Doing the bedtime routine (see note)

Note: One of my all-time favorite home organization bloggers, Jen Jones of iheartorganizing.blogspot.com, has made her morning and bedtime routine charts available for free download here. She also has an array of beautifully designed home organization printables for purchase in her etsy shop. Check her out!

Treasure Chest.

I've given Bubs a glimpse of the toy prizes I have in the treasure chest, in fact, he helped me pick them out in the store, so he's sure to like them. (All items were under $3--a ball, an eraser, silly putty, stickers, a wall clingy/crawler, pencil sharpener, etc.) I tried to collect items that weren't flimsy junk and that would encourage creative play and activities.

Reward Activity Cards. 

He also helped me come up with reward cards. Man, is he jonesing for the card that lets him be the boss for a half hour! I printed these cards, laminated them, cut them out, and keep them in an envelope attached to the bottom of the chart. The way I've arranged it, it's possible for Bubs to get a prize twice a week if he meets all the goals on the chart. He can choose a card or a toy.

The chart and the cards are available in .pdf format (you'll need Adobe Reader) for download under "Free Printables" in the side bar.

 

Just a word about reward systems in general.

Some approaches to parenting don't support the use of reward systems, in part because it creates the expectation of a reward for doing what should be done anyway. I believe in using rewards to set up good habits. When a kiddo can do these tasks independently and has internalized the rhythm, so-to-speak, rewards aren't needed anymore. Of course, as an ADDer, I know sometimes an "external brain" is needed to replace wonky executive functioning, so this type of approach might be a lifelong assist.

The external brain

When the brain is wonky at regulating executive functions (attention, task-switching, initiation/activation, etc.), you gotta find an alternative brain, right? When kidneys don't function, you get dialysis. When a heart is dysregulated, sometimes a pacemaker helps. When a leg is amputated, a prosthetic makes walking possible. And when a brain can't keep track of time or prioritize tasks, we use timers and charts.

I've begun an extensive re-org of how I live my life and organize my household, based on this info about my newly-diagnosed ADD brain. I've been floundering for so long, convinced if I just tried harder I would finally get "organizized". I'm giving up on relying on my brain. It's time to invest in something that works! An external brain.

The (hyper)focus of my (in)attention lately has been the creation of a family organization binder. I will dedicate an entire post to this project soon, but here's a brief overview. The binder contains:

• contact info for family, schoolmates, neighbors, & utilities,
• emergency info,
• a neighborhood map,
• financial accounts and budget information,
• cleaning lists & schedule,
• cleaning supplies list,
• meal planning,
• calendars,
• chores lists,
• household inventory,
• to do list,
• vacation planning,
• Christmas card list and gift planning,
• home & auto maintenance,
• auto maintenance,
• insurance info,
• tax info,
• important dates,
• birthdays and anniversaries,
• pet info,
• some other stuff I can't recall off the top of my head!

The binder is set up to play a crucial role in our weekly family meeting. The thing is 70 pages long-- I've really put a lot of work into it! My hope is that it's going to provide us with the organization my family has been needing.

The most important piece of this project, I think, has been the creation of a daily routine written into a checklist and laminated, to be checked off with a dry-erase marker throughout the day.

The checklist I'm using is really a fantastic document. It was created by Camie Shill of willandcam.blogspot.com. (She offers it as a free printable. Thank you, Camie, my organizational inspiration!) It has the day broken down into four manageable time sections. It reminds me to eat, drink water, take my vitamins, exercise, make school lunches, unload the dishwasher, do laundry, make dinner, and each day of the week has a task or two (such as cleaning out the car or washing floors) assigned to it. It's a brilliant set of reminders to keep me on track throughout the day.

I'll report back on my progress. For now, I'm feeling a bit like the Scarecrow in the Emerald City--A BRAIN!

Guest post from my mom: ADHD and Impulsivity and Food

I have been officially diagnosed with ADHD. I have been on "Focaline" (Ritalin) for 3 days now and I am amazed! For years, ever since I quit smoking in 1989, I have had problems with food. I see it. I want it. I eat it. I was slender before. Now I am not. Diets result in the same, old story: lose, maintain for a while, gain it back. I never lost my desire to snack in the evening, my most difficult time. Only sheer will power, or going to bed very, very early prevented me from indulging. For 3 nights, I have had NO desire to snack. No cravings, either. That's right: none at all. Also, I don't want to have second helpings of delicious foods. In fact, I don't want to eat much at all! For the first time in my post-smoking life, I don't feel that "pull". WONDERFUL!!! Perhaps I will even reach my 68th birthday (September) as a slender person again.

Living in the Bermuda Triangle

This is the first time my house has become extremely messy since I was diagnosed with ADD a few months ago. This time around, at least I have new perspective & mindfulness about the chaos in my environment. It's no easier, though.

What am I feeling?

I'm anxious, feeling hopeless and powerless, overwhelmed, feeling like a failure, craving sugar, wanting to escape,  and unable to have anyone over because I'm ashamed of what my house looks like.

How does this happen?

The system falls apart when some external factor disrupts my homeostasis. It's like I'm smooth sailing and BAM, a massive air bubble rises under my ship and takes it down, Bermuda Triangle style. I can keep my house in order for weeks, just doing quick pick-up and wipe-downs every day, but I skip a few days and suddenly it's overwhelming. Suddenly none of us puts anything away or in the garbage. A produce delivery stays on the counter for six days, papers pile up, wrappers surround odds and ends, the dining room table has laundry on it, the laundry piles, once sorted, are in heaps all around the house... BAM. I'm powerless, unmotivated, ashamed, embarrassed, overwhelmed, stressed, failed, lazy, paralyzed. I have no idea where to start.

So I take a bath.

I read a fellow ADDer's description about this difficulty with maintenance, discipline, and motivation, likening it to being a shark that will die if it stops swimming. When I stop swimming, my house sinks!

(Awesome image by Fuchsia Macaree.)

Attention Surplus Disorder

One of the things I'm learning about ADD is that it's really a problem with the regulation of executive functions in the brain. It's not accurate to call it simply an attention deficit problem. A lack of attention is only one of the ways ADD manifests. I struggle with maintaining attention during non-stimulating tasks, but one of my main difficulties is actually having too much attention and not being able to task switch. This is a problem with hyperfocus. I can focus on something so well that I lose track of time, forget to eat, put off sleep, and ignore other responsibilities. In those moments (that may last hours), I have an attention surplus problem!

What are executive functions? "Executive functions is an umbrella term for cognitive processes that regulate, control, and manage other cognitive processes, such as planning, working memory, attention, problem solving, verbal reasoning, inhibition, mental flexibility, task switching, and initiation and monitoring of actions." (Read more here.)

I read that list of cognitive processes and it hits me like a ton of bricks--those are my little demons! I crave external order and routine, because without them, the demons get hopping and man, I have a crappy day. My own inner boss, like what Freud called the super-ego in his model of the psyche, is kind of out to lunch. What helps? How do I find that order and routine when I'm a stay-at-home-mom and make my own schedule (within reason, taking into account my kids' needs)?

I'll get back to you.