Monday, April 29, 2013

Stumbling down the stairs with our feet in our mouths: ADD & AUUS*

L'esprit d'escalier (literally, staircase wit) is a French term used in English that describes the predicament of thinking of the perfect comeback too late.

Is there a term for saying something you realize later was the wrong thing to say? Maybe "l'horreur d'escalier'? Or just plain "stumbling down the escalier"? Most people say the wrong thing every once in a while, but if you have ADD, chances are this is a more regular occurrence. Like this morning, for instance, when an older gentleman complimented my toddler son's hat, and I quickly responded "thanks! I love dressing him like an old man!" Not horrible, but after I said it, I wanted to crawl in a hole for a second. (ZOMG I said "old" to an old person!)

He makes a durn cute old man, though.


Allow me to introduce you to my little affliction, AUUS* or Awkward Unfiltered Utterance Syndrome (a made-up illness I have acronymed to lend credibility, obv). You may be familiar with it as "Foot-In-Mouth Disease".

I get anxious in social situations. I have social skills and I hide my anxiety, but I also sometimes trip up, like when I'm tired, which lately is always. My anxiety is intrinsically linked to my fear of saying the wrong thing. I have anticipatory horreur d'escalier!

What's happening in my brain?

Normal people have filters that stop them from saying the wrong thing. ADDers have neurological differences in the prefrontal cortex of the brain--the area that, among other functions, controls impulses and filters our thoughts before we utter them--so we stop ourselves from doing or saying those faux pas (faux pases? faux pahzez? foe pauses?) that might rub others the wrong way. Imagine how much more difficult social situations are for ADDers when we can't rely on our filters to keep us from putting our feet in our mouths. Our prefrontal cortices actually function at a slower pace. The addition of stimulants allows the filter which monitors behavior to speed up and begin to function correctly, which is why stimulants seem to slow ADDers down. But don't take my fuzzy sciencey word for it, listen to a real scientist.

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