Tuesday, April 16, 2013

The honeymoon is ovah!

Been a while, eh? I lost my steam.

I began this blog as an exploratory project so I could learn more about ADD as I got used to the idea that this may be an accurate diagnosis for me. I was so very excited at the prospect of having an explanation for why some things are so hard -- and others so easy for me. During the last few months, reality has set in and I've begun to see the limitations of what it means to have ADD and how much harder everything is and always will be for me than for other people.

That last sentence brought up some feelings for me.

Part of me still holds on to the belief that this is all just an excuse for bad behavior. I just need to try harder. Other people try hard and accomplish a clean house, bills paid on time, non-anxious interactions with other humans, regular meals consisting of healthy food, avoidance of sugar, emotional self control. How can I assume it's so much easier for them? Welcome to my pity party! Life is so hard for poor me!

This is what I'm struggling with right now.

The honeymoon is over, but additionally, I'm chronically sleep-deprived and exhausted with a preschooler who just turned five and a baby who just turned one. Baby still sleeps with us and I wake up several times a night to nurse him. I'm formulating a plan to get him over the night-nursing, but I'm kind of dreading it because *duh, transition* and I also don't want anyone to suffer during the weaning.

But my lack of sleep has so severely exacerbated these ADD symptoms that I don't believe it's even possible to accurately attribute them to ADD.

And that, my friends, is what I've been up to lately.

Plus also these adorable munchkins:



2 comments:

  1. Wow, I can totally relate. I have ADD and wasn't diagnosed until about 3 years ago, and have been off all meds as I have had a baby/breastfeed. It's HARD. My son also has high functioning autism, so we are space cadet central over here! I just wanted to drop a line to say I relate... For me, it's just nice to know I'm not the only one. *cyberhugs*

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    1. Puzzled Parenting, I'm sorry I only just saw your comment, which delights me just for the fact that you can relate. Thank you for the cyberhugs, and back atchya! Connecting with others in the more difficult times sure makes it easier, I think. <3

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