What am I feeling?
I'm anxious, feeling hopeless and powerless, overwhelmed, feeling like a failure, craving sugar, wanting to escape, and unable to have anyone over because I'm ashamed of what my house looks like.
How does this happen?
The system falls apart when some external factor disrupts my homeostasis. It's like I'm smooth sailing and BAM, a massive air bubble rises under my ship and takes it down, Bermuda Triangle style. I can keep my house in order for weeks, just doing quick pick-up and wipe-downs every day, but I skip a few days and suddenly it's overwhelming. Suddenly none of us puts anything away or in the garbage. A produce delivery stays on the counter for six days, papers pile up, wrappers surround odds and ends, the dining room table has laundry on it, the laundry piles, once sorted, are in heaps all around the house... BAM. I'm powerless, unmotivated, ashamed, embarrassed, overwhelmed, stressed, failed, lazy, paralyzed. I have no idea where to start.
So I take a bath.
I read a fellow ADDer's description about this difficulty with maintenance, discipline, and motivation, likening it to being a shark that will die if it stops swimming. When I stop swimming, my house sinks!
(Awesome image by Fuchsia Macaree.)
So I take a bath.
I read a fellow ADDer's description about this difficulty with maintenance, discipline, and motivation, likening it to being a shark that will die if it stops swimming. When I stop swimming, my house sinks!
(Awesome image by Fuchsia Macaree.)
Trying to get my house afloat too! All it takes is one surprise variable!
ReplyDeleteWhen the Huzzah is doing a 12-day work jaunt (taking call on the weekend), the house tends to go this way if I (we) don't prep enough beforehand. It's so frustrating! I kick myself for not prepping better.
ReplyDeleteYour words inspire me--Like you said, all it takes is one surprise (or unprepared for) variable and it can go all squinky. Maybe I can harness that force to turn it around and get over the mountain of overwhelm by adding a surprise variable and tipping it in the opposite direction. I think a new day after a decent night's sleep will do wonders. Also, a variable like a chocolate reward might help.